Finding My Inner Bullseye
As part of the February Mindfulness for Mamas session with Sandy Hessler, we were asked to meditate on what love felt like with our children. What made us feel the most love? What made us feel loved? In what situations did we feel the most connected with our children?
Sitting quietly surrounded by the mamas and meditating on the question, I immediately felt the love I feel nursing my newborn. Holding her close and knowing I’m everything she needs is such pure love. Then I thought of my 4 year old son, and how he’s becoming so independent and the pride and fear I feel as he puts on his own boots and coat to go outside to play, waving on his way out the door. The combination of the two is love – knowing that I held him close long enough that he has the confidence to go out on his own, and knowing he’ll come back to me and still want a snuggle at bedtime.
And then, I thought of my mother. She is very ill, and recently in hospice care. We live hours away and I don’t get to visit often enough. And I realized, in that warm room surrounded by mamas also connecting to love through meditation, that love is letting go.
Love is knowing that it’s okay to tell your mother that the love she’s given you has been enough, and that you’ll carry it with you always.
Having this realization at Mindfulness for Mamas has changed my daily approach with my children. What do I need to do and how do I respond to my children so that someday, the love I’ve given them will have been enough? How do I connect that to our family values, and how do I cultivate it? I found my inner bullseye through the session with Sandy Hessler, and it’s changed who I am as a mama. I can’t thank Mindfulness for Mamas enough.
Alyssa Bones is a freelance writer and editor, mom of two, and wildland firefighter wife. She lives her life mostly outside in Jackson, WY.